The Last Shuffle

I need a new mane for my stream of consciousness posts. Shuffle, while clever, is tired out. So while I try to conjure up a new title for my meandering, I present you with the post-Fourth of July edition of my conscious.

  • I'm now the proud owner of a shiny (literally) new iPhone 4. I got an email from the Apple Store in Stoneridge Mall on Saturday morning saying that my phone had arrived. So I traveled the 9.0 miles (according to Google Maps) in somebody else's car to pick it up. Was in and out of the store in 20 minutes and the phone is everything Steve Jobs said it was. I have my iPhone again and it's better than ever. I couldn't be happier with it.
  • And in case you're wondering, I was able to replicate the antenna issue. Fortunately, I'm not crazy enough to run amok in the streets yelling, "FRIVOLOUS LAWSUIT!" and then actually file one (or ten) . I'll just use the overpriced, glorified rubber bands Apple sells and wait for them to issue that patch.
  • Oh, and even though I'm a lefty, I don't think Apple's discriminating against me. I may be part of the left-handed club, but I'm definitely not part of that 90,000 crazies Left Handed Club.
  • In honor of Independence Day, let me see if I get this straight: Legal drinking age in this country is 21, but you only have to  be 18 to join the Marines, buy a gun, a pack of cigarettes, and fireworks. And vote. All that and yet you can't run down to the Kwik-E-Mart and buy a six-pack of Bud Light. That just doesn't...make sense. And America's supposed to be the greatest country in the world? Really?
  • Then again, lawmakers are trying to protect us from all them gun-toting drunks.
  • And in celebrity gossip news, the insanely hot Megan Fox -- why else would you watch Transformers? -- has married former Beverley Hills, 90210 star Brian Austin Green. The lucky bastard; he must've really done wonders to bag (get it? ha) her.
  • The feud between Jay Leno and Conan O' Brien is ridiculous. Conan is just not funny. When the best part of your show is a talking dog with a hand shoved up its ass, you know you're in trouble.
  • I admit, I'm a foodie, but I will never, EVER, call any food I work with the "obedient ingredient" like this guy does. Because, ya know, I don't wanna have to spend the money to send the onions that aren't sauteing to Onion Obedience School.
  • You read it here first: LeBron James and Dwyane Wade will be teammates in Chicago next season.
  • And Chris Bosh will be there to tweet about it when they ink their deals.
  • Really, Apple, $30 for what's essentially a thong for your iPhone?
  • Saw Up for the first time last night. Nothing like seeing two grumpy old guys duking it out.
  • Let Me Get This Straight, Part II: Apple sells 1.7M iPhone 4s in the first three days, then they come out with a press release saying demand for the "more popular" black model was unprecedented. Okay, but when the white model won't be available until the end of the month, OF COURSE the black one's going to go because it's THE ONLY MODEL YOU HAVE!
  • My new favorite iOS apps: Magic Piano for iPad and Pocket God for iPhone. Because it's oodles of fun tickling the virtual ivory with one hand while sadistically hurling a defenseless little pygmy into a volcano with the other.
  • And finally, Drake and Eminem's respective new albums are totally awesome.