In the wake of today’s announcement of Apple’s Q1 results, I have but one question:

How much of their $97.6 billion war chest is due to bullshit marketing to mindless drones?

I think about this every time Apple has an earnings call. I wonder how the “other” fanboys and analysts of the tech world will try to spin this good fortune -- pun intended -- into nothing more than a tired Jonestown metaphor. I completely get that Apple products aren’t going to be for everybody1, but it bugs the shit out of me when haters try to reduce the company’s success down to some magical, unicorn-y, cult-like voodoo spell. It’s troublesome because what these people are essentially doing is saying Macs, iPhones, and iPads have no inherent greatness about them. That is to say, the products in and of themselves are inferior “toys”, so the only reasons they’re so hot is because of cutesy ads like this one and there’s an Apple logo on the back of everything. I don’t get it. It's as if Apple fanboys are the only fanboys in the universe!

In addition, haters love the make the argument that, well, profits only matter to shareholders. That’s certainly true to a degree, but such a statement is still just another way of poo-pooing Apple’s successes. As I’ve written before, making money is the name of the game in a capitalist economy, and Apple’s clearly dominating in that sense. Yet never mind that the iPhone accounted for 4.2 of Verizon’s 7.7M smartphones sold last quarter or that 15 million iPads helped Cupertino achieve the second-most profitable quarter in any company’s history, it still all boils down to clever marketing and industrial-sized gallons of Kool-Aid.


As I said earlier, Apple gear isn’t for everyone, but I think the haters of the world need to get their head out of the sand (or their ass) and show the company some respect. They make some great stuff that people want to buy. Period. I don't know why that's so hard to understand for a lot of people.

  1. Well, almost.